Reflecting on Revisions

When asked to choose any work from the quarter and revise it, I had to choose this peice. I felt that this piece was the weekest of my work and knew that it needed revising. I opened the file from the gradebook that was returned with my original grade on the paper and decided to start with the instructor's recomendations. I began by fixing all the instances of run-on sentances and whent from there. I feel now that it is a stronger paper, though I do wish I could figure out how to replace all the referances of the implied "you" and still get my point across.